C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
