I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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