Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
