Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
