It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
