so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
