sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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