I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
