it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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