he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize