I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
