when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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