I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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