It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
