Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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