oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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