i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
