It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
