mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
