i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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