i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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