I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
