he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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