Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
