your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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