Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
