I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
