We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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