she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
