But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
