you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
