i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
