My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
