hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
