Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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