Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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