living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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