How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
