dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
