Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
