sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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