The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
