Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
do herpes really smell.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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