margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
