i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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