HIV tests are more positive than that guy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
