I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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