im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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