his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize