Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
