She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
