I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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