We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
did i just pee glitter
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
