see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
