with your own penis?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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