you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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